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The Help Desk Guru!
By TheAntiHype | June 13, 2008
“Hi, I’m (name removed so as not to add to unemployment figures) and I’m your HelpDesk agent” (Sounds like the opening gambit at an AA meeting – not that I’ve been to one)
“What can I do for you today?”
Yes, I’m sure you’ve been there too. The trouble is it all too often goes rapidly downhill from this point.
“I’m trying to move my site from the existing hosting service to my hosting account with you and I need a little help in understanding the process.”
“Do you have Mysql”
Here we go – a techie trying to live in the real world. I thought of saying “no, it’s just a cold” but thought it would only confuse matters.
“Does it matter? I’ve fully backed up the whole site and have it on my hard drive”
“OK just ftp it to your account”
“But what then? The FAQs say only part of site can be restored from back up”
“Just a minute” - sound of thumbing through HelpDesk reference manual volume 4
“You’ll need to send a request to the help desk to restore for you”
“Aren’t you the Help Desk?”
“Yes”
“Then why am I sending you a request when you know what I need”
“It’s the way the system works”
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Please rate the quality of your HelpDesk assistant.
I’d rather not on the basis I’d hate to be accused of accelerating his departure!
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“Hi, I’m (different name but again removed so as not to add to unemployment figures) and I’m your HelpDesk agent”
“I received an email telling me my files had been restored but their not in my cPanel under File Management”
“Let me look into it for you – I’ll be pleased to help”
Sounds promising!
“No, they’ve not been restored”
“Why have I received an email telling me they have?”
“We sent another message after that saying that the username has already been used on that server”
“I don’t understand what that means but where have you restored the files”
“We haven’t – we need you to give us a new user name”
“But why tell me you’ve restored the files if you haven’t?”
“We haven’t restored the files because we need a new username”
I just lost the will to live! What is he talking about?
“OK, I have no idea why you can’t use the username I created when I opened the account but now try XXXXX”
“I’ve added it to the ticket”
“So what happens next”
“I really don’t know what they’re going to do about this”
“Is this the Help Desk?”
“Yes”
“Perhaps you could H-E-L-P”
“The best thing to do is wait for them to respond to your ticket – it won’t be long”
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How do you think I look with a beard? I could have grown one by now as I wait with baited breath for the HelpDesk guru (had to slip that in) to let me know how they’ve HELPED! Still it won’t be long.
I’ll post again as soon as I have a reply.
The Anti Hype
P.S. This is really happening as I post – in relation to another blog I’m trying to move. I do have some understanding of what needs to be done but for someone like Homer, who as you know is technically challenged, this would be even more of a nightmare!
Topics: Customer service, General Guru Fodder, Humour | No Comments »
