« Homer’s TV Debut Nightmare | Home | Why I Quit Internet Marketing »
Internet Marketing Made Me Bankrupt
By TheAntiHype | October 6, 2009
“Internet Marketing made me bankrupt”
I could barely hear his voice. It was shaking and I could only just make it out to be Homer’s voice.
I’d not heard from him for ages and he was in fact the last person I expected to hear from – especially after his re-union with Sylvie Fortin. I expected him to be too embarrassed to get in touch – but by the sounds of things he needed real help.
“This time…” he paused “…this time, I’ve really gone and done it and Marge will kill me” he exclaimed.
Now, I thought he was referring to his, er, relationships but as the story unfolded it was clear he’d been up to his old tricks – and more!
“Let me put my cards on the table Mr Anti Hype” he continued. “I really had hoped that when Sylvie interviewed me a few days ago that it was because she still had some feelings for me after all this time.”
“Secretly, I really thought she was trying to woo me back. But as she is such a smart, successful internet marketer and I, well you know, I’ve made one or two mistakes, I decided I’d really impress her.”
He had me really worried. Nothing Homer has done since I’ve known him would impress anybody. Least of all someone as successful as Sylvie – unless she really was looking to woo Homer back! No, I really couldn’t see that, Sylvie is happily married and as far as I know in full control of her mental faculties.
He was in full flow now and the sad story continued…
“You might know there’s been a number of big product launches recently; Michael Rasmussen’s Affiliate Launch Blueprint ; Michael Cheney’s Delta Squadron & Jeff Dedrick’s Send Button Profits and I knew that armed with the knowledge from those three programs I could make my stack and finally win over Sylvie”
“The great thing about those launches is that they all offer free information so I figured it wouldn’t cost me anything to get just where I wanted and then to get Sylvie just where I wanted!”
“So I watched the videos and read in detail all of the sales pages. Oh, yes – she will be mine, I thought. With this information I cannot fail.”
Now, I was itching for Homer to get to the punchline and tell me why he was bankrupt. But in his usual style he had to lay out his failings in their full glory!
“So launch day for all three has been within the past week – in fact Jeff’s product only launched this afternoon and that was the final straw.”
I was getting impatient. How could something that happened just now have been so catastophic.
“Well, here it is Mr Anti Hype. I got taken in again. You know those free products. Well they’re not really free. I waited for the launch emails and got in to each product as soon as they launched. I filled in my details (including credit card) for the Postage Costs and the $1 “contribution” to costs. I then got taken to these great pages that were offering me stuff that I just knew I couldn’t possibly live without.”
“I was hitting my back button on the browser and my refresh button as I zipped from One Time Offer to Upgrade and back to Second Upgrade and ongoing training. I went from private mentoring back to original email and product bonuses from whoever (and that was loads of people) had told me about the launches. I even bought some stuff from the guys promoting. I don’t know how I found that!”
“It was like those TV wildlife programs – you know the sharks feeding frenzies. Mr Anti Hype, I need help. I’m an Internet Marketing product junkie. I know it now. How could I possibly expect Sylvie to be interested in me now? And as for Marge – she just pities me.”
“The only person who wants me is the debt collector set on me by the credit card company. You see I bought every upgrade, every mentoring program, every continuity membership program – and all within the last week. I had a call from the card company asking when I’d lost my card because in over 30 years they had never seen such outrageous spending activity on one card.”
“I hate to think how much money I’ve spent and it could all have been avoided if I’d just taken Sylvie up on her offer to join her at Success Chef.”
I’ve never been one for saying “I told you so” but I have to say I was so sorely tempted on this occasion – after telling Homer for years where he was going wrong I really think perhaps I should have done so.
But I couldn’t rub his nose in it!
Don’t be like Homer and let internet marketing make you bankrupt. Know what you need and buy what you need – not what somebody else convinces you you should have!
Topics: Bad Gurus, Internet, Marketing | 3 Comments »
October 7th, 2009 at 1:26 pm
Internet is the best way to earn money but it should be a proper way otherwise you will bankrupt from the Internet. It’ give lots of to the people.
October 7th, 2009 at 1:37 pm
Poor Homer just doesn’t understand why our very brief affair cannot ever be repeated. I’ve been very nice to him, but I just cannot respect him.
How can I respect a guy who doesn’t trust his own instincts and blindly follows every Cult Leader that comes along?
How could I possibly love a guy who believes everything he’s told by every slick salesman?
He and I can have no future, and my husband is not at all worried.
October 7th, 2009 at 3:17 pm
Sylvie, it’s worse than having a lovelorn teenager to deal with. You know – they try every aftershave and cream to cover up the smell & spots but underneath they’re the same. Same with Homer! He’s trying (extremely
) but sadly he just doesn’t get it.
I try telling him but he’s convinced he simply has to become a “success” and he’ll have every woman in the world swooning at his feet!
Now there’s a thought. Perhaps you could teach him via Success Chef and he then could select from millions of other suitors and leave you alone! I’d then just be left to deal with Marge!