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The Internet Marketer’s Dream - Homer’s Implant

By TheAntiHype | March 26, 2008

Hi, I don't remember seeing you here before. If you're new here, welcome. If you despise the hype on the net as much as me & like a laugh, keep up to date with my latest posts by subscribing to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting! The Anti Hype

I’d expected a big launch - you know, 500 emails from people you’ve never heard of, free videos for weeks on end (all free with no vested interest other than the sale at the end of it!) but nothing…

I heard it from Homer of all people.

Now, you’ll realise by now that poor old Homer is guru fodder to the core. He gets taken in by every new pitch, every new opportunity and frankly, every line he is throw by those big bad gurus.

You’ll remember a few days ago Homer and Marge emailed me a list of questions and they were answered by an un-named Super Bad Guru, who said in Internet Marketing Perpetual Motion that the best bit of advice he could give was to have their credit card with them at all times.

Well, he took that a stage further and developed a product which he tested on Homer. Now as with most BBGs (Big Bad Gurus) he quickly moved on to his next major launch and told Homer he was free to promote the product himself. He provided him with a sales page and the product but…

Unfortunately, Homer doesn’t have a clue and is looking for help in getting this to the market. Leave a message below if you think you can help him.

So here is Homer demonstrating the product:

homer2.jpg

HOMER’S IMPLANT

Yes, it’s that simple, and oh so obvious.

A credit card chip implanted in your forehead.

According to BBG, all you need is a simple line of code on your website and the details from the chip are scanned as the page is read by guru fodder. By the time half the sales letter has been read, the cost of the product has been deducted from the credit card.

It doesn’t matter if they leave the page without clicking the buy button - they’ve been charged anyway.

Even I am amazed at the brilliance of this.

So what about refunds I hear you ask. In the words of BBG, as reported to me by Homer “it doesn’t matter, by the time guru fodder get their credit card statements they’ll have forgotten which sites they’ve visited and they’ll never track you down.”

So the sales letter he has already produced is true -

This truly is the number one way to pajama wearing status.

Mr Big Bad Guru really has surpassed everything I’ve ever seen with this one!

Any resemblance with anything in real life is purely a figment of someone’s imagination…

Or is it?

The Anti Hype

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Topics: Bad Gurus, Fun, General Guru Fodder, Guru Fodder Terminology, Humour, The Anti Hype |

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