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The Internet Marketer’s Dream – Homer’s Implant
By TheAntiHype | March 26, 2008
I’d expected a big launch – you know, 500 emails from people you’ve never heard of, free videos for weeks on end (all free with no vested interest other than the sale at the end of it!) but nothing…
I heard it from Homer of all people.
Now, you’ll realise by now that poor old Homer is guru fodder to the core. He gets taken in by every new pitch, every new opportunity and frankly, every line he is throw by those big bad gurus.
You’ll remember a few days ago Homer and Marge emailed me a list of questions and they were answered by an un-named Super Bad Guru, who said in Internet Marketing Perpetual Motion that the best bit of advice he could give was to have their credit card with them at all times.
Well, he took that a stage further and developed a product which he tested on Homer. Now as with most BBGs (Big Bad Gurus) he quickly moved on to his next major launch and told Homer he was free to promote the product himself. He provided him with a sales page and the product but…
Unfortunately, Homer doesn’t have a clue and is looking for help in getting this to the market. Leave a message below if you think you can help him.
So here is Homer demonstrating the product:
HOMER’S IMPLANT
Yes, it’s that simple, and oh so obvious.
A credit card chip implanted in your forehead.
According to BBG, all you need is a simple line of code on your website and the details from the chip are scanned as the page is read by guru fodder. By the time half the sales letter has been read, the cost of the product has been deducted from the credit card.
It doesn’t matter if they leave the page without clicking the buy button – they’ve been charged anyway.
Even I am amazed at the brilliance of this.
So what about refunds I hear you ask. In the words of BBG, as reported to me by Homer “it doesn’t matter, by the time guru fodder get their credit card statements they’ll have forgotten which sites they’ve visited and they’ll never track you down.”
So the sales letter he has already produced is true -
- No product
- No selling of anything
- No stock
- No customer service
- No refunds
This truly is the number one way to pajama wearing status.
Mr Big Bad Guru really has surpassed everything I’ve ever seen with this one!
Any resemblance with anything in real life is purely a figment of someone’s imagination…
Or is it?
The Anti Hype
Topics: Bad Gurus, Fun, General Guru Fodder, Guru Fodder Terminology, Humour, The Anti Hype | 9 Comments »
March 26th, 2008 at 6:44 pm
I just love the image and the chip. I have had a great laugh to start the day and yes I agree it is no longer just a figment of someone’s imagination.
I hope I haven’t given someone an idea with this!! Have an abundant day Suzie
March 26th, 2008 at 1:44 pm
I just love the image and the chip. I have had a great laugh to start the day and yes I agree it is no longer just a figment of someone's imagination.
I hope I haven't given someone an idea with this!! Have an abundant day Suzie
March 26th, 2008 at 10:11 pm
Now I know why you look like that!
It is to stop the chip from sticking!:D
Randy The Hermit’s last blog post..What The Flock Is This?
Mark
I looked like this before chips were invented! Maybe I was created with the future firmly in mind
March 26th, 2008 at 5:11 pm
Now I know why you look like that!
It is to stop the chip from sticking!:D
Randy The Hermit's last blog post..What The Flock Is This?
Mark
I looked like this before chips were invented! Maybe I was created with the future firmly in mind
March 27th, 2008 at 2:47 am
Trendy people want to know if the chips come in colors?
It seems to me that the selling potential would double for certain colors and if the chips came in PJ color co-ordinating color schemes creative BBG’s could add an accessory line.
Great new program! What’s next?
Denise’s last blog post..Carrots – How to grow a great carrot crop
Great idea. Homer tells me he’s discussing the possibility of a “chip mounting system” that would allow interchangeable chips – necessary as he progresses through the pyjama ranking system. Mark
March 26th, 2008 at 9:47 pm
Trendy people want to know if the chips come in colors?
It seems to me that the selling potential would double for certain colors and if the chips came in PJ color co-ordinating color schemes creative BBG's could add an accessory line.
Great new program! What's next?
Denise's last blog post..Carrots – How to grow a great carrot crop
Great idea. Homer tells me he's discussing the possibility of a “chip mounting system” that would allow interchangeable chips – necessary as he progresses through the pyjama ranking system. Mark
March 27th, 2008 at 3:54 am
I say…Homer should be an Affilate for a certain gardener I know, and that way he could have carrot orange colored chips, or a red pepper chip, or yellow corn – with color co-ordinated pahjamass….of course.
Teri
Thanks Teri. This seems like a must – see Denise below. I’ve talked to Homer who as you can imagine is very keen as he aims for the top of the pile red silk pyjama status.Red Pepper would really work for him then. Mark
March 26th, 2008 at 10:54 pm
I say…Homer should be an Affilate for a certain gardener I know, and that way he could have carrot orange colored chips, or a red pepper chip, or yellow corn – with color co-ordinated pahjamass….of course.
Teri
Thanks Teri. This seems like a must – see Denise below. I've talked to Homer who as you can imagine is very keen as he aims for the top of the pile red silk pyjama status.Red Pepper would really work for him then. Mark
July 31st, 2008 at 4:52 pm
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