“Internet Marketing made me bankrupt”

I could barely hear his voice. It was shaking and I could only just make it out to be Homer’s voice.

I’d not heard from him for ages and he was in fact the last person I expected to hear from – especially after his re-union with Sylvie Fortin. I expected him to be too embarrassed to get in touch – but by the sounds of things he needed real help.

“This time…” he paused “…this time, I’ve really gone and done it and Marge will kill me” he exclaimed.

Now, I thought he was referring to his, er, relationships but as the story unfolded it was clear he’d been up to his old tricks – and more!

“Let me put my cards on the table Mr Anti Hype” he continued. “I really had hoped that when Sylvie interviewed me a few days ago that it was because she still had some feelings for me after all this time.”

“Secretly, I really thought she was trying to woo me back. But as she is such a smart, successful internet marketer and I, well you know, I’ve made one or two mistakes, I decided I’d really impress her.”

He had me really worried. Nothing Homer has done since I’ve known him would impress anybody. Least of all someone as successful as Sylvie – unless she really was looking to woo Homer back! No, I really couldn’t see that, Sylvie is happily married and as far as I know in full control of her mental faculties.

He was in full flow now and the sad story continued…

“You might know there’s been a number of big product launches recently; Michael Rasmussen’s Affiliate Launch Blueprint ; Michael Cheney’s Delta Squadron & Jeff Dedrick’s Send Button Profits and I knew that armed with the knowledge from those three programs I could make my stack and finally win over Sylvie”

“The great thing about those launches is that they all offer free information so I figured it wouldn’t cost me anything to get just where I wanted and then to get Sylvie just where I wanted!”

“So I watched the videos and read in detail all of the sales pages. Oh, yes – she will be mine, I thought. With this information I cannot fail.”

Now, I was itching for Homer to get to the punchline and tell me why he was bankrupt. But in his usual style he had to lay out his failings in their full glory!

“So launch day for all three has been within the past week – in fact Jeff’s product only launched this afternoon and that was the final straw.”

I was getting impatient. How could something that happened just now have been so catastophic.

“Well, here it is Mr Anti Hype. I got taken in again. You know those free products. Well they’re not really free. I waited for the launch emails and got in to each product as soon as they launched. I filled in my details (including credit card) for the Postage Costs and the $1 “contribution” to costs. I then got taken to these great pages that were offering me stuff that I just knew I couldn’t possibly live without.”

“I was hitting my back button on the browser and my refresh button as I zipped from One Time Offer to Upgrade and back to Second Upgrade and ongoing training. I went from private mentoring back to original email and product bonuses from whoever (and that was loads of people)  had told me about the launches. I even bought some stuff from the guys promoting. I don’t know how I found that!”

“It was like those TV wildlife programs – you know the sharks feeding frenzies. Mr Anti Hype, I need help. I’m an Internet Marketing product junkie. I know it now. How could I possibly expect Sylvie to be interested in me now? And as for Marge – she just pities me.”

“The only person who wants me is the debt collector set on me by the credit card company. You see I bought every upgrade, every mentoring program, every continuity membership program – and all within the last week. I had a call from the card company asking when I’d lost my card because in over 30 years they had never seen such outrageous spending activity on one card.”

“I hate to think how much money I’ve spent and it could all have been avoided if I’d just taken Sylvie up on her offer to join her at Success Chef.”

I’ve never been one for saying “I told you so” but I have to say I was so sorely tempted on this occasion – after telling Homer for years where he was going wrong I really think perhaps I should have done so.

But I couldn’t rub his nose in it!

Don’t be like Homer and let internet marketing make you bankrupt. Know what you need and buy what you need – not what somebody else convinces you you should have!

© TheAntiHype for guru-fodder.com, 2009. | Permalink | 3 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: internet marketing made me bankrupt, internet marketing product launch, internet marketring
Here's the link to download your free gift for subscribing to my RSS Feed.

Feed enhanced by Better Feed from Ozh

I was going to bring Homer out of hiding for this post but as he’s sulking and I’ve been so busy elsewhere of late I decided I just had to get this off my chest without him. But Derek agreed to help by adding his thoughts at the end of this post.

Someone, somewhere should set up a Control for the Mass Control epidemic that is sweeping the internet. I’m only on a few lists these days but even those that I’ve long, long forgotten about have come out of the woodwork to promote.

Now let me make this perfectly clear – I have no knowledge whatsoever of Mass Control – a number of the promotions I’ve received have been from people I respect so I’ll assume it is a really good product. But that’s not the point…

The issue is quite simply this…

How Very Dare You

I’ve been getting promotions from people who don’t know the first thing about me, about my business and what’s worse nor do they care. They are just interested in trying to get a commission by jumping on the launch frenzy bandwagon.

Maybe they’ve made assumptions that because I was interested in what they had to say once that I’m interested in every product they can make an affiliate commission from! A very bad assumption.

Not only am I not interested in their assumptions I’m now no longer interested in anything they have to say.

A few days ago I signed up for some Twitter program – it didn’t work properly and despite a Help Desk ticket being submitted there has been no response. But, for some reason the goons running the program think I’ll be interested in buying Mass Control through their affiliate links.

How Very Dare You

You guys can’t get your own product to work, you can’t or won’t provide any support yet you think I’d like to cross your palms with silver for a product that you don’t have any idea whether I’d benefit from.

Mad dear?, who dear?, me dear?, no dear…

How Very Dare You!

And as for the “my bonus is better than your bonus” brigade – get a life.

If I wanted Mass Control I’d buy is because it was good and relevant to my business not because you were offering me a pile of outdated junk that would clutter up my hard drive. I think I’d be too busy working the main program to want whatever bonus you were offering.

And if I wasn’t then the program is sadly lacking in something if I needed your bonus.

With very few exceptions, where perhaps the bonus offered is complimentary, I think you are simply being disrespectful to Frank Kern and his product. It is tantamount to suggesting that his product needs whatever it is you are offering as a bonus to somehow enhance his program – without it is is incomplete!

How very dare you!

There, I feel better for that!

To highlight the dangers of assumptions, and with a little slightly adult humour here’s Derek with his take on assumptions…

It seems embedding has been turned off by BBC – so please click here to view the video at YouTube

How very dare they!!!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Lw_2NuS6i8[/youtube]

© TheAntiHype for guru-fodder.com, 2009. | Permalink | 4 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: Add new tag, Mass Control
Here's the link to download your free gift for subscribing to my RSS Feed.

Feed enhanced by Better Feed from Ozh

Man, I know how to party!!

This came hot on the heels of my post – internet-marketer-responsible-for-prison-sentences

Rapidly skimming through the report I arrived at the 31 big – No Nos – the banned practices. These are the ways of dealing with customers that are automatically outside of the law. These are the laws applying to the UK and also Europe.

How they apply to the rest of the world and / or trading over the internet I’m not clear BUT…

Be Warned – Your time is up

Here’s an excerpt that particularly caught my eye:

(7) Falsely stating that a product will only be available for a very limited
time, or that it will only be available on particular terms for a very limited
time, in order to elicit an immediate decision and deprive consumers of
sufficient opportunity or time to make an informed choice.

I don’t suppose you’ve ever seen a website do anything like this, have you?

I can’t remember more than 10 this week myself!

You can Download the full report – no need for email details – by Right Clicking on the link below and Save As or Save Link As to save to your local machine.

If you use this tactic perhaps you should think again!

Enjoy the reading, it may help your insomnia!

© TheAntiHype for guru-fodder.com, 2008. | Permalink | 3 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: banned practices, false statements, Law, office of fair trading
Here's the link to download your free gift for subscribing to my RSS Feed.

Feed enhanced by Better Feed from Ozh

The headline read “Internet Marketer Responsible For Prison Sentences”

In an unprecedented move the courts today sentenced thousands of unsuspecting “would be” internet marketers to anything from a £1,000 (say $2,000) fine to 5 years in jail for deception.

Despite their pleas of “we had no idea what we were doing was wrong” the judge, looking solemn declared…

“Ignorance of the law is NO defence”

One of the defendants, who happens to be well known to readers of this blog – yes Homer – was excused punishment on the grounds of diminished responsibility (and total incompetence). He is still not over the public humiliation he received from his ex Sylvie Fortin and is clearly not in control of his faculties. Trying to rebuild his life with Marge he embarked on another spending spree that ended with his recent court appearance.

Asked what he had done Homer responded…

“All I did was to buy a really good product on the theme – how to make money online. It was being heavily promoted – in fact most of the big names seemed to love it. I just followed the advice in the product and the next thing I knew they arrived.”

“I was dragged out of bed – at least I was wearing my newest satin pajamas – to be interrogated by the newly formed Internet Police.”

“It seems I’m not allowed to put up a picture of someone else on the internet, make out that I am that person and say that a certain product has changed my life. They said that is deception. The IP actually was quite agitated and told me that I was obtaining money by deception”

“Fortunately, I hadn’t actually sold anything. Between you and me” he continued “despite trying a million different strategies I’ve never actually sold a thing online!”

Fact or Fantasy?

I really cannot say. I just feel there are some very grey areas surrounding certain online activities and posing as someone else to gain financial advantage could very easily be construed as deception.

If, for example you saw a weight loss program being promoted by a 350 lb lump, would you buy the product? If you answered yes, please leave now

Assuming you wouldn’t – would you buy that same product from that same lump if that person had a royalty free picture of a good looking young thing, clearly no more than 150 lbs, stating how much weight she / he’d lost using product X?

If you were in the market I’m guessing you may give the product a go because you believed what had happened to the “promoter” of the product could happen to you.

Now if you knew who was behind this promotion – someone who had only put on weight from the day they were born I think you may think you had been somewhat deceived.

Maybe it’s time for the internet to be cleaned up a little.

What’s your take on this?

Am I wrong – should any amount of deception be allowed? Is this just another form of advertising? Should we as consumers be aware that all that glitters is not gold?

Tell me what you think – and in the meantime be careful what you do and say online – the headline above may one day come true!

The Anti Hype

Related information:

The Wikipedia description of deception according to English Law would worry me if I was up to these tricks!

And in New Jersey perhaps this would be of concern

Do some Google searches and you’ll find similar sites and articles everywhere.

I’m no legal expert but I’d hate to be sailing this close to the wind. I’d much rather know I was clean than rely on an assumption of some sort!

© TheAntiHype for guru-fodder.com, 2008. | Permalink | 9 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: deception, internet marketing, online fraud, Sylvie Fortin
Here's the link to download your free gift for subscribing to my RSS Feed.

Feed enhanced by Better Feed from Ozh

This is what happens when you take a holiday.

I’ve been away for just over two weeks and I return to an unprecedented upset.

Randy (The Hermit) is upset with me for not giving him credit for introducing Homer to Sylvie Fortin.

Michel (Sylvie’s husband) is clearly upset with me for introducing Homer to Sylvie. He’s been around here again looking for evidence! You can still see him below as I write.

Sylvie, however, appears to be the only happy one out of them all. She’s not retracted here positive comment about Guru Fodder “a Must Read” from her blog – so that’s my assumption anyway.

And here I am caught up in the middle of this messy threesome – Homer in his pajamas, Randy Baustert – the introducer – & Sylvie Fortin whose only “crime” is to write an excellent report slamming some of the underhand marketing tactics used online.

So let me put the record straight.

Randy told me about Sylvie’s report – The Internet Marketing Sins. I took a look and liked what I read. So Randy, thanks for the introduction. Randy is already known to Michel & Sylvie Fortin – if you don’t know him you should. He runs an excellent site called Marketing Beginners – and you can read more about him at his blog. Although he lives in the Virgin Islands his time spent living in the UK sounds very interesting – see Being Randy In The UK

Loads of innuendo’s in that lot!

I thought the report would be great to quench Homer’s thirst for internet marketing products. In fact, secretly I believe Sylvie was actually writing about Homer in part of the report. (If so that suggests she knew him long before Randy told me about the Internet Marketing Sins report – the plot thickens!)

Now, in all of this mess – Homer has gone quiet again. For obvious reasons I can’t ask Marge what has happened for fear of adding another dimension to this farce.

My conclusion is I should leave them all to sort themselves out. Perhaps in future I should simply say -

Read Internet Marketing Sins by Sylvie Fortin – it’s outstanding.

But if I did, I wouldn’t be The Anti Hype would I?

The AntiHype

© TheAntiHype for guru-fodder.com, 2008. | Permalink | 16 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: AntiHype, homer, internet marketing, internet marketing sins, Sylvie, the antihype
Here's the link to download your free gift for subscribing to my RSS Feed.

Feed enhanced by Better Feed from Ozh

Michel Fortin will be livid – or so you’d think. His wife, Sylvie Fortin in bed with the Guru Fodder Homer!

Actually, he’s delighted.

Sylvie has just released a report Internet Marketing Sins in which she slates all of the tricks, scams and sales hype that poor old Homer has fallen for. Whether she consulted Homer is another matter, although I’m sure she would have appreciated his stripy pajamas had she met him really!

I’ve just finished reading the first 5 sins – there are 15 in all – and I have to say I wish I had written it. Yes, The Anti Hype is impressed!

The language is a little base at times and Sylvie doesn’t pull any punches.

The report slams into some of the tactics we’ve been highlighting at Guru Fodder for a long time. But also, dare I say it, she lays into the likes of Homer. Why? Because he spends money but does nothing.

You loyal followers will know that deep down I have a sly pop at poor old Homer but Sylvie has well and truly told him what for.

If he was still feeling the after effects of his hypnosis, his mind will be clear and racing after that!

Now, the cynic in me tells me that Sylvie is expecting sales of her products to follow in the wake of this report. She suggests the report does nothing to promote a product, which is true. But there are links to her excellent Success Chef sprinkled through the report. It does, however, stand on it’s own two feet. It’s a great read.

A while back I talked about “refunds” or rather the lack of refunds. What Sylvie has to say will make your hair stand on end.

Sylvie likes labels – and lists 15 of them. These are her Internet Marketing Sins.

The first, we dealt with here a few weeks ago in “The Forced Continuity Credit Card Dance”

Sylvie calls this one: Sleight of Hand Continuity. She talks about 3 methods, the 1st being acceptable, the 2nd questionable and the 3rd illegal.

Wow, how I wish I’d written this report! Or maybe Sylvie has been hanging out here and storing our thoughts for her Report!

Sidenote: Homer, close your eyes when you get to page 41, I think it’s aimed at you personally!

Have you ever fallen for the One Time Offer or Upsell Hell as Sylvie calls it? Read page 56. I told you there were no pulled punches!

I can’t go on. I have to tell you this.

You must get Internet Marketing Sins. It’s a free download, of course, and it is outstanding.

I could use the whole report as a basis of a comedy TV series featuring Homer & Marge. It would be hilarious BUT the sad thing is – all of this stuff is true. It is happening as we speak.

If you are Guru Fodder or feel for Homer you must get this report. It carries The AntiHype’s highest recommendation. If you’ve not read anything of the scrapes Homer gets into then you should read the report cover to cover before venturing out online alone again. You have been warned.

And if you enjoy reading Guru Fodder then you’ll love Internet Marketing Sins.

Get it now and sit back for a ride amongst the real Big Bad Gurus!

The Anti Hype

Add to Onlywire

© TheAntiHype for guru-fodder.com, 2008. | Permalink | 12 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: Bad Gurus, guru fodder, homer, internet marketing, internet marketing sins, Michel Fortin, Sales Hype, Sylvie Fortin, The Anti Hype
Here's the link to download your free gift for subscribing to my RSS Feed.

Feed enhanced by Better Feed from Ozh

Image via Wikipedia

Homer actually called me today.

He is starting to trouble me. At some deep level some of the things I’ve been saying seem to be getting through.

Maybe he is not destined to stay guru fodder for ever!

He told me he was confused. Which one of the 10 links to join Stompernet should he use.

“Why do you want to join” I innocently asked

“It’s obvious I must – if I get the same email from all these super bad gurus it must be good”

So I tried to explain that the real objective of most of these guys is to get their affiliate payment – “Homer, I’m sorry to say, they don’t care about you, they don’t care whether you’re successful – in fact it suits them better if you’re not successful because they keep you on the hook and spending money. How will the product help your business?”

“I’m not sure, but with all this activity I’d be mad not to give it a try”

“Homer, you must get off of these email lists and focus on what you need to do – get your strategy sorted out and stop getting diverted”

I thought something had finally clicked. We started talking about unsubscribing from all of the lists he was on and then he revealed the truth about about super list building:

“Mr Anti Hype” – he always calls me that, he is so full of respect.

“I bought into a program about 6 months ago. It was brilliant. I gave my email address to watch the video. I then gave it again to see the sales page. After I’d paid I gave my email address to download the product, then again to see the ultra special one-time-offer (obviously I had to have that) and I think one more time on the upsell page”

“Now, Mr Anti Hype (see he does always call me that), isn’t that brilliant business sense. Get your customer to give the email address loads of times to make sure they didn’t get it wrong. You can’t be too careful wot wiv the way peeple spel today.”

“But, Homer” I sighed, “when you try to unsubscribe you’ll still be on all of the other lists – each time you give them your email you’re on another list!”

Yes, that did happen once” he continued “Marge was giving it to me large about this and that and how I was wasting what’s left of my life reading emails and so I did try to unsubscribe from one list”

“It was from someone I thought was really good. She sent email after email about the latest product launch – I never understood why because she said the first one was the only one I’d ever need. Anyway, there were two unsubscribe links at the bottom of the email and I tried both but the pages weren’t found. I forgot about it for a few days until her next email and I tried again. Same problem so I gave up. I still get the emails to this day”

“Is that how they do it MrAntiHype? Make the unsubscribe links so they don’t work? That’s cool!”

SIDENOTE – I think I must be on that very same list

“You know, I think you’re right. I need to get off of all these lists. I’ll make a start tonight.”

He left me saying “…so it’s far better for me to get the email from just one guy so I’m not confused as to which link to use and I can sign up without delay”

Some people never learn!

The AntiHype

Add to Onlywire

© TheAntiHype for guru-fodder.com, 2008. | Permalink | 4 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: email lists, list building, the antihype, unsubscribe, unsubscribing
Here's the link to download your free gift for subscribing to my RSS Feed.

Feed enhanced by Better Feed from Ozh

Image via Wikipedia

Homer Wants An Ice-Cream

Sitting at his PC, adorned as always in his perfectly ironed pseudo satin pajamas, Homer heard the distant chimes of the Ice Cream Man’s Van.

Could he afford the time away from the world he inhabited? The cut and thrust of the Make Money Online the Bad Guru way? Surely, 2 minutes wouldn’t be a problem.

He called to his adoring wife “Marge, I want an ice-cream”

“Get it yourself” came the loving reply, for Marge had frankly lost interest in Homer and his desires.

And so began the sad, sad story of Homer and the Ice Cream Vendor.

The Ice Cream Vendor Mantra – Don’t Move The Van Until You Sell Something

Hiding the smirk from his face (the sight of Homer in his pajamas is not one for sore eyes) the Ice Cream man launched into his sales patter…

“It’s your lucky day – I’m giving away Ice Cream today, you just have to buy the cone”

“So it’s a large cone for you is it sir?”

“Now before you go, if you buy another ice cream (full price) you can have all five in my range – vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, tutti-frutti and passion fruit and mango”

“What do you mean “no thanks I’ll pass on that offer – I know I’ll only ever be asked this once?”

“Now before you go…”

He was begining to sound repetitive and somewhat like some guys we all know.

“…if you buy 5 out of my range, you’ll get them for the price of 1″

Even to poor old Homer, hardened by the daily online pitching he subjected himself to, he saw this was going to end in tears. He only wanted one ice-cream and Marge hated the stuff. He watched as the melting vanilla ice-dream dribbled down the side of his cornet and the ice-cream man launched into his final pitch…

“Look, you cannot lose. You have my 30 day, money back guarantee. This is a never to be repeated offer. You take your pick from my catalog of top-selling ice-creams. You get the 5 for the price of one deal. Pay a little more and you get chocolate chips, strawberry sprinkles, raspberry sauce, chocolate sauce, maple syrup, jelly diamonds and I’ll throw in two chocolate flakes as my extra special fast action bonus.”

Now that sounded like a Homer deal.

And then the clincher…

“Sign up today and I’ll be back every week with more. All you need to do is complete this recurring credit card payment voucher and…”

Marge Is Not Amused

“Homer, you’ve been in there for two hours. What is the matter?”

Emerging from the bathroom looking slightly green and decidedly drawn Homer still managed to exude the look of someone pleased with themselves.

“Marge, you won’t believe the deal I’ve just done” he screeched triumphantly.

“I think I might” mumbled the less than amused Marge, picking a red, maple syrup stained jelly diamond from off the collar of his now crumpled pajama jacket.

“I’ve arranged delivery of ice-cream every week for a year – no more looking for loose change – it’s all on recurring credit card payments, we get 5 for the price of one and every topping you can imagine”

“Homer, you went out for a small vanilla cone! You’ve been taken in again – you’ve bought stuff you don”t need, stuff you don’t like and stuff you’ll never use AND you’ve agreed to pay monthly for all this stuff with a guy you’ve never seen before and in all likelihood will never see again. Did you get his contact details or his van’s registration number?”

Marge, was becoming very experienced!

“He didn’t have any contact details and I was in such a rush to make sure I got everything he was offering, it just kept coming at me thick and fast and I didn’t want to miss anything and when I looked up the van was gone.”

Marge raised her bushy eyebrows – her days of making herself look her best for Homer had disappeared shortly after the Pyramid Selling fiasco in Egypt – and she sat at Homer’s PC to ask someone, somewhere to beam Homer up – somewhere!! And there was the sales pitch…

The free product, the OK take your pick from my range, buy this, I’ll add that, what about this, and a few of those – it mirrored the Ice Cream man’s pitch. Was the ice cream man really a Bad Guru?

Homer’s hard drive was so clogged up with stuff he didn’t want, didn’t need but it was free, cheap, not to be missed, a One Time Offer, an OK so you can’t afford it but here’s a discount offer and if you get that I’ll throw in my bonus pack. It looked just like that mess of an ice cream he came in with a few hours ago!

Marge thought it was all bull.

And it was just at that point Marge had her idea.

… to be continued. Don’t miss out on Marge’s idea. Sign up to the Guru-Fodder RSS feed above.

The Anti Hype

P.S. This post was inspired by a real life “pitch” I received only this week!

Add to Onlywire

photo credit: david.nikonvscanon

© TheAntiHype for guru-fodder.com, 2008. | Permalink | 8 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: Bad Gurus, fast action bonus, free deal, Fun, guru fodder, humor, Humour, one time offer, The Anti Hype
Here's the link to download your free gift for subscribing to my RSS Feed.

Feed enhanced by Better Feed from Ozh

Homer has been very quiet for the past week or two.

I thought maybe he’d found “the light” and settled down to get on with building his business.

I should have known better!

Marge called and told me the sad story…

“Marge, this is the one! And it is only $1. We can’t go wrong. Get the catalog out and order up them new pajamas – Homer’s going to town”

“Mr Anti Hype, I knew right then it would end in tears but there’s no talking to him when he’s got those $ signs in his eyes.”

“He’d seen an offer from a retiring Bad Guru who was selling everything for just $1. He couldn’t fail. An established business, high levels of loyal traffic – I just carried on with the ironing (he has so many pairs these days) because I’ve heard it so many times before. Well, he whipped out the credit card as quick as you can say “guru fodder” and he was up and running.”

“I was waiting for the one time offer – but no, I didn’t hear another word. Maybe the download failed. No, everything was fine.”

“Of course, he did nothing with the information but then it happened. The credit card bill arrived. There was the $1 charge but then recurring monthly payments for $30″

“Marge, I honestly didn’t sign up for that!. I know I overspend – I know I try my hardest to make you rich” – he’s such a romantic at heart – “but this time I really didn’t agree to a continuity program. It was my last $1.”

So poor old Homer got caught in the Forced Continuity Program scam.

He’s lost the sales page. For $1 only he didn’t bother to keep a record and now can’t remember what he downloaded or from where.

The credit card company don’t care. “You’ll have to cancel with the vendor” they state. But when you don’t know who the vendor is that’s a tad difficult!

Yes, I’m afraid this one is for real.

Do the guys intend to steal like this?

Does it matter? If you get caught you have a major job unraveling it, whether it was intentional or not.

In many cases, if you have loads of credit card transactions you may not even notice the payments going out for months – then it’s too late. No refund even if you can track the vendor down – it’s outside the Money Back period.

Work out your business strategy. Decide what you need and only buy what you need to move your business on when you need it.

Check carefully whether you’re signing up for a one-off payment or some regular recurring membership site. And above all – keep records of what you’ve done.

I use Flock – I love it – and create a folder in the sidebar immediately I see a site I’m interested in. Simply name the folder the name of the product and drag the URL of the sales page from the address bar into the folder. Do the same for any One Time Offer and Thank You page and the Download page when you get there. Everything stored to refer back to.

It won’t prevent scams but it may make life a little easier to sort out if you get caught.

Be careful out there

The Anti Hype

Add to Onlywire

© TheAntiHype for guru-fodder.com, 2008. | Permalink | 8 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: bad guru, credit card, flock, forced continuity, guru fodder, The Anti Hype
Here's the link to download your free gift for subscribing to my RSS Feed.

Feed enhanced by Better Feed from Ozh

Phil was brought to my attention by our long suffering friend Homer.

Once again Homer thinks he has found the pot of gold and the “no work” easy answer but I fear the worst.

YOU WILL ALREADY KNOW PHIL, or someone very much like him. We know them as Bad Gurus. Phil has one objective in life – fill his ClickBank account. A very worthy objective – provided it is not done at the expense of someone elses dreams and aspirations.

Enter Homer.

Homer, you’ll know by now loves the illusion of the internet lifestyle:

• expensive houses
• fast cars
• Marge (she used to be a fast women, allegedly)
• boats
• international travel
• flexible working hours
• cash on demand

He is, however, still torn between working in his pajamas or underpants. He has read conflicting sales letters and is currently erring towards long johns with a pajama jacket. Kinda likes to hedge his bets.

He still believes, despite the thousands he has spend on manuals, e-books, e-courses, podcasts, seminars, software, mentors, not to mention night attire, that there is one hidden method where riches will fall into his pajama clad lap without any work being necessary.

On his endless quest this week he responded to an email from one of the 98,343 lists he has subscribed to, and bought:

“Scarlet Pimpernel Marketing”

The Sales Letter

The usual heart wrenching story of the orphan, born with one leg shorter than the other. For this poor unfortunate soul the problem was compounded because his other leg was also longer!

With no guide in early life he fell into a life of depravity and spent 20 years of his teenage years in and out of institutions. Math was never his strong point.

Fortunately he learned to tell a good tale and made some great friends along the way – read any of the testimonials!

Despite his background he miraculously stumbled across a method of making money online that until today has been kept secret.

It is time that Phil McLikbanck, for that is his name, repaid the world and helped everyone else now he has made his fortune as evidenced by the blurred out images of Paypal Accounts and Clickbank statements . The blurring is so good there are no names ( Data Protection issues), no amounts, the bank wouldn’t like it and no numbers of visitors, Google wouldn’t like it. But the evidence is plain for all to see.

So Scarlet Pimpernel Marketing is a must for anyone starting out, regardless of background. Sign up today for the immediate discount (it can be removed at any time naturally) and by tea and muffin time tomorrow you’ll be sitting in your good old jimmyjams watching the money roll in.

The risk is all Phil McLikbanck’s of course. If you’re not a millionaire within 28 days there’s a 100% refund, no questions asked.

A click swipe of Homers forehead chip and the deal was done.

“Marge, Marge” a frustrated Homer calls to his long suffering wife. How do I download this Scarlet Pimpernel Marketing manual? Maybe it’s too big to get through the telephone line. They were promising a massive package.

An email was received thanking Homer for the purchase and telling him to log in using the User Name and Password already emailed. Never received and no contact details on the sales page to chase up.

Marge suggests he responds to the email. Doesn’t work – just an auto-responder message with no mailbox attached. Fortunately, within minutes another email arrives promoting the must have accompaning product for Scarlet Pimpernel Marketing – The online Sherlock Holmes Tracker device. While waiting to find the login details Homer decides he needs to take advantage of this never to be repeated offer.

28 days have since passed and still Homer has not downloaded Scarlet Pimpernel Marketing. He has been unable to contact Phil McLikbanck despite the best efforts of the Sherlock Holmes Tracker device, which seeks him here, it seeks him there, but Homer is sure he’ll fulfil his obligation under the money back guarantee, even though the guarantee period has ended – he seems such a nice guy, particularly with his poor background.

It must be just a technical fault because he still keeps in touch by email about other products. In fact he’s just about to launch Claret Pimpernel Marketing. Very similar but updated to encompass the change on Google, Yahoo, Alexa ranking issues.

Homer will buy it no doubt!

The Conclusion

Phil McLikbanck has fallen into the trap of expensive lifestyle, houses, cars, personal pyjama tailor, typical online guru stuff.

He has no long term sustainable business so has to do a big launch / re-launch to generate big cash flow. He has and shows no care for his customers, to him they are just guru fodder and cLikbanck (sic) fillers.

Homer, is clutching at his dream and loves to believe the solution is the next credit card entry away. If he would just stop buying and act on just one of the programs he has already bought he would see what he needs to do – Take Action!

As long as there are Homers there will be Phils!

Beware, there may be a Phil near you.

The characters in this post are, of course, fictional and none of this would happen in real life… or would it?

The Anti Hype

Thanks to Randy at Internet Starting Steps for inspiring this post

Tags: badgurus, scarlet pimpernel marketing, internet marketing, humor, humour, The Anti Hype, guru fodder

© TheAntiHype for guru-fodder.com, 2008. | Permalink | 6 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: Bad Gurus, guru fodder, humor, Humour, internet marketing, Scarlet Pimpernel Marketing, The Anti Hype
Here's the link to download your free gift for subscribing to my RSS Feed.

Feed enhanced by Better Feed from Ozh