Michel Fortin found out about Homer getting into bed with Sylvie (as reported here a few days ago) and came looking for him. (You may still see Michel in the BlogLog widget below if you’re quick).

He obviously confronted Sylvie. Sylvie in turn has admitted to knowing Homer and she seems to have developed a soft spot for him as she says the post is a “Must Read” where she refers to the post on her new Internet Marketing Sins feedback page.

Don’t forget you can access the whole report at Internet Marketing Sins.

You’ll be glad you did.

The AntiHype

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I first heard of him last night, so it’s real coincidence I’m going to his manor today.

Ziggy is a Polish immigrant who sweeps roads for a living.

So what’s that got to do with the internet?

Quite simply, Ziggy is now an internet celebrity as a result of his very own style of sweeping. He takes his ipod with him and dances as he sweeps. Without the internet the videos of him dancing would not be seen and he would not have become the tourist attraction he is today.

Clearly, Homer has a thing or two to learn from this guy – how to get internet exposure.

I can just see him doing a twirl or two in his Guru Pajamas. Anything for some exposure. I just hope he remembers to button up properly!

Which reminds me I must check with Marge to see if he is out of his hypnotised trance yet.

On a serious note, this is exactly the type of outrageous publicity that Joe Vitale talks about (see Hypnotic) and although Ziggy doesn’t appear to have an agenda, marketing seems to be about daring to be a little different!

The AntiHype

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Phil was brought to my attention by our long suffering friend Homer.

Once again Homer thinks he has found the pot of gold and the “no work” easy answer but I fear the worst.

YOU WILL ALREADY KNOW PHIL, or someone very much like him. We know them as Bad Gurus. Phil has one objective in life – fill his ClickBank account. A very worthy objective – provided it is not done at the expense of someone elses dreams and aspirations.

Enter Homer.

Homer, you’ll know by now loves the illusion of the internet lifestyle:

• expensive houses
• fast cars
• Marge (she used to be a fast women, allegedly)
• boats
• international travel
• flexible working hours
• cash on demand

He is, however, still torn between working in his pajamas or underpants. He has read conflicting sales letters and is currently erring towards long johns with a pajama jacket. Kinda likes to hedge his bets.

He still believes, despite the thousands he has spend on manuals, e-books, e-courses, podcasts, seminars, software, mentors, not to mention night attire, that there is one hidden method where riches will fall into his pajama clad lap without any work being necessary.

On his endless quest this week he responded to an email from one of the 98,343 lists he has subscribed to, and bought:

“Scarlet Pimpernel Marketing”

The Sales Letter

The usual heart wrenching story of the orphan, born with one leg shorter than the other. For this poor unfortunate soul the problem was compounded because his other leg was also longer!

With no guide in early life he fell into a life of depravity and spent 20 years of his teenage years in and out of institutions. Math was never his strong point.

Fortunately he learned to tell a good tale and made some great friends along the way – read any of the testimonials!

Despite his background he miraculously stumbled across a method of making money online that until today has been kept secret.

It is time that Phil McLikbanck, for that is his name, repaid the world and helped everyone else now he has made his fortune as evidenced by the blurred out images of Paypal Accounts and Clickbank statements . The blurring is so good there are no names ( Data Protection issues), no amounts, the bank wouldn’t like it and no numbers of visitors, Google wouldn’t like it. But the evidence is plain for all to see.

So Scarlet Pimpernel Marketing is a must for anyone starting out, regardless of background. Sign up today for the immediate discount (it can be removed at any time naturally) and by tea and muffin time tomorrow you’ll be sitting in your good old jimmyjams watching the money roll in.

The risk is all Phil McLikbanck’s of course. If you’re not a millionaire within 28 days there’s a 100% refund, no questions asked.

A click swipe of Homers forehead chip and the deal was done.

“Marge, Marge” a frustrated Homer calls to his long suffering wife. How do I download this Scarlet Pimpernel Marketing manual? Maybe it’s too big to get through the telephone line. They were promising a massive package.

An email was received thanking Homer for the purchase and telling him to log in using the User Name and Password already emailed. Never received and no contact details on the sales page to chase up.

Marge suggests he responds to the email. Doesn’t work – just an auto-responder message with no mailbox attached. Fortunately, within minutes another email arrives promoting the must have accompaning product for Scarlet Pimpernel Marketing – The online Sherlock Holmes Tracker device. While waiting to find the login details Homer decides he needs to take advantage of this never to be repeated offer.

28 days have since passed and still Homer has not downloaded Scarlet Pimpernel Marketing. He has been unable to contact Phil McLikbanck despite the best efforts of the Sherlock Holmes Tracker device, which seeks him here, it seeks him there, but Homer is sure he’ll fulfil his obligation under the money back guarantee, even though the guarantee period has ended – he seems such a nice guy, particularly with his poor background.

It must be just a technical fault because he still keeps in touch by email about other products. In fact he’s just about to launch Claret Pimpernel Marketing. Very similar but updated to encompass the change on Google, Yahoo, Alexa ranking issues.

Homer will buy it no doubt!

The Conclusion

Phil McLikbanck has fallen into the trap of expensive lifestyle, houses, cars, personal pyjama tailor, typical online guru stuff.

He has no long term sustainable business so has to do a big launch / re-launch to generate big cash flow. He has and shows no care for his customers, to him they are just guru fodder and cLikbanck (sic) fillers.

Homer, is clutching at his dream and loves to believe the solution is the next credit card entry away. If he would just stop buying and act on just one of the programs he has already bought he would see what he needs to do – Take Action!

As long as there are Homers there will be Phils!

Beware, there may be a Phil near you.

The characters in this post are, of course, fictional and none of this would happen in real life… or would it?

The Anti Hype

Thanks to Randy at Internet Starting Steps for inspiring this post

Tags: badgurus, scarlet pimpernel marketing, internet marketing, humor, humour, The Anti Hype, guru fodder

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Here are his results:

I’ve applied your method.Its deadly works.

My second post “Dividend Payout Could Be Your Long-term Cash Machine”
shows #1 position for full post. But 92nd position for long-term cash machine
(1,930,000 pages)in which I may have made a mistake.

Anyway my 3rd post- “Key Retirement and Old Age Plan Through Adequate Insurance”
-my keywords:
– key retirement positioned #25 from 576,000 pages
– old age plan #39th position out of very competitive 65,100,000
– and adequate insurance #37th of 783,000
– and #8 for competitive keyword-retirement and old age plan(462,000)

Here’s the Scribd document link, Give Kaushik a “I Liked It” for sharing this information.

So, another No 1 slot on Google – again in a highly competitive area.

Let us know at Guru Fodder if you can better these results using this method – and if you have some other strategy in your portfolio that you’d be willing to share I know some people who’ll be very pleased to hear from you!

The Anti Hype

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Not only is the Scribd document on page 1 of Google for the search term:

“How To Get On Page 1 Of Google”

…but so are two posts to the Guru Fodder blog.

Here’s a screen shot as proof.

No hype, no cost, just a straightforward strategy you can copy to get page 1 rankings in a very short time.

Good luck.

The Anti Hype

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She has just uploaded her article at Scribd (30th January) and we are all hoping it will hit the first page during the next few days.

The title is “Victory-Garden-Contest-and-Community-Garden-Contest-begins-Monday-Feb-4th”

I see she is already on page 2 at no. 16 out of 176,000 for the Google search term “victory garden contest” – after just 3 hours of uploading the document! Also at number 1 for the full term, but since there’s little competition for the full title that’s not surprising.

I’ll report back with details of her success in the next few days and in the meantime any gardeners should take a look at Denise’s competition.

Good luck Denise

The Anti Hype

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How To Get On Page 1 Of Google

Today, the report is sitting on the first page at number 6. If it doesn’t reach number one then I may have failed, strictly speaking, but as an exercise I think this proves conclusively that my strategy works.

The Anti Hype

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The search term “how to get on page 1 of google” has 79,600,000 competing entries.

Those who disbelieved my strategy were critical that I was getting ranked highly for low competition keywords.

Today, I see one of my entries is now at position 23 (page 3 of Google accepted) out of nearly 80 million entries. And that is in just 1 week.

I anticipate my latest post using that exact keyword phrase – how to get on page 1 of google – should show its face in the next few days, ie within 4 days as stated in my original post.

If anyone is trying this strategy themselves I’d love to hear your success stories.

The Anti Hype

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Now many of you will be saying to yourself “it’s all very well getting a number one position in Google for the search term – how to get a number 1 google ranking in 4 days – but who would think of entering exactly that as a search?”

That’s a great question and one I have been struggling with. But…

How about the search term “how to get a number 1 google ranking”

More likely to be searched for than with the addition of the number of days. I agree.

So today, I reveal that within 48 hours the pdf report I uploaded to Scribd sits at number 3 on Google for that search term also.

Pretty cool, I think you have to agree.

I encourage you to give it a go yourself. Please come back here and share your results.

The Anti Hype

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I uploaded the report mentioned in the post to Scribd.

Today – the proof

A search in Google for the Title of the document:

How To Get A Number 1 Google Ranking In 4 Days

The Result

Position number 1 – immediately below the paid for listings.

OK, so I said it would take 4 days instead of 1 (master of the understatement, that’s me). In actual fact, at the time of writing this post, it is only 14 hours since I uploaded the document!

Enough said.

Go ahead, download the report and use the technique yourself.

The Anti Hype

P.S. I hope you noticed the lack of drum rolls, dramatic clouds and flowery emotional words

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